A few blocks from my house a like-minded neighbour has taken to taking photos of all the social media slaves now infesting the city because of cherry blossom season. They’re out in force on the streets of East Vancouver, with all of its old trees and heritage houses, dozens a day just now—just striking the most idiotic poses. Everyone wants the same blossoms backdrop. Not because of the blossoms. Because of the everyone else wanting them.
A former professor of mine once told me over wine that when the revolution came, if it came, not to worry—they’d be there; only, they told me, it wasn’t up to them at all to try and start one. Fomenting social unrest wasn’t really their thing.
A couple of former colleagues of mine at the college recruit students with a free ‘information” session called “Taking the Perfect Selfie.” Two middle-aged men teaching teenagers how to get more likes through the enhancement of visual narcissism: it’s just what the world needs. Guy Debord would be proud.
Julian Assange got arrested today. Chelsea Manning is also in prison—again. Whatever revolution my former professor thought was coming, guess again: the revolution coming our way is coming from the other direction. And, if nothing else, we will be well-equipped to take selfies of our own impending arrests, and all of the subsequent social and cultural annihilation we were too comfortable to protest. Fitting that the world leader to symbolically deliver the fatal blow to hopes of a fairer and more progressive world is named “Lenín”.
Lenín Moreno, President of Ecuador, this message is just for you. “Que hijo de puta mas grande eres, huevon culiao. Andate a la concha de tu madre.”